« April 2006 | Main | November 2006 »

October 26, 2006

Silos in the Workplace

Silos are easily established in the workplace. In the building where I work, there are 11 floors. My building is attached to a different building, which also has (I think) 11 floors. Each building belongs to two separate, individual, NASDAQ, fortune 500 companies. Each floor on my building serves a different function under the umbrella company, but each of these floors do not represent the multiple divisions that stretch across state, national, and international boundaries. This company I work for is global, well known, and right now, profitable.

I work on the 11th floor. When exiting the elevators, you can go left (toward the window) or right (toward the receptionist desk and plasma screen TV). On the side where the window is, there are mostly contractors (consultants, as they are termed) and a few full-time, salaried employees. On the plasma side, you have a similar set up, but majority full-time, salaried employees and very few contractors.

On that floor, I sit in a cubical, where the walls are less than mid-height from floor to ceiling. At my desk, there is one overhead cabinet, where I'm supposed to store all of the DRAFTS, REVIEW COMMENTS, and PRINTED (Marked-up) COPIES of the manuals and quick reference documents I write. Other than that one cabinet, there are no other storage compartments. Where do I put my purse? Other consultants who work there are huddled in the cubicals together, bumping into each other with rolling chairs, when they are in the office on the same day.

Just across from me (if I stand and step immediately to my right) are the cubicals for regular full-time employees of the company. In those cubicals, which are the same height as mine, you'll find more space (width), more storage bins (two overhead and at least three under desk cabinets that run from the desktop to the floor, each having three drawers each, with the bottom drawer, long and wide).

There are large offices at the south end of the building, and along the walls behind the elevators are more offices. Executives or upper-level managers sit in these offices. Some are reserved (called Hotel offices) for executives and upper-level managers who travel, and need a place to crash while they are away from thier home based offices.

Its pretty easy to distinguish contractors, regular employees, upper-level managers, and executives. So, what are some of the distinguishing characteristics of my workplace silos. Employees get supplies. Contractors have to purchase their own or ramble through slim pickin's to get what they need. The badge strings for employees are black; for contractors, they are blue. Employees had headsets to use with their phones; contractors have to use the mute and speaker keys (and their phones are older models). Employees are scheduled to attend business meetings; contractors are rarely invited (contractors, for the most part, usually receive 2nd- or 3rd-hand information about the state and status of the product; information is translated and re-translated). Contractors are expected to work a full eight hours with a one hour lunch break, so they are on campus 9 or more hours. Employees are hardly ever on campus for that length of time.

What's great is the fact that contractors get paid more by the hour; the downside is that there are usually no medical benefits. BUT if you have a spouse who is being compensated and has medical benefits, the business is your oyster.

House Hunters (HGTV)

This evening I watched House Hunters on HGTV. I love that show. It's high on my list of favorites. It's because I'm a dreamer and a wishful thinker. I'm always hoping that I'll be in a position both financially and mentally to be able to purchase a home and to decorate it. HGTV's House Hunter's gives me this undying hope. Since I've been watching the show, I've seen homes I liked and could possibly afford and homes that I liked, which were totally out of my price range. I also noted too, that I don't do nearly enough shopping. I should spend some time just going out to the stores to browse, rather than going out to make a purchase. You know. See what I like, and see what's available and out there. What things could I mix and match to make a place where I'd spend most of my time, a true reflection of my personality. The thing that I dislike about the show is that they never show the real problems people face when they are out there searching: home inspection, being pre-approved (how do you get there?), locating the mortgage plan that's right for you, where are the lawyers when the deal is made(?), how can I get out of my apartment rent when I've found the home I want, but still owe 6 months rent (?). Most of what I've mentioned, HGTV has found clever ways to remarket these questions into shows for television. Susie Orman can tell you how to clean up your credit for the pre-approval process. She's really good and entertaining. But what channel do I turn to to listen to a lawyer give good tips for stepping through the process of purchasing or selling a home, or getting out of the rent payment for that matter? Is there such a show? Come on lawyers! Get your act together. Get on reality TV. There's a class of folks, who are looking for good, free legal advice. Aside from that, it'd be great to see how you handle cases for those who seek your help. I mean, if they will put "Cheaters" on TV, surely, they can find room for real estate lawyers. Now, I need to get back to my paper.

October 25, 2006

For Madeline

When I blog good and even great things happen. I recently wrote two entries and lookee:

1. Won a Chipotle gift certificate, worth $25, and about 9 free shuttle passes from my job to the mall.
2. M-Jr's grades are on the rise. We've been struggling with that for some time. But I hope things are turning around.
3. Got good news about my home. Things are moving slowly right now, but I'll take all the good news.
4. Removed a really irritable callous from the ball of my foot before it turned into an ulcer. Nasty little thing.
5. Job seems to be secure for now, although I never hold my breath on these kinds of issues.
6. T moved up a letter grad in her gymnastics class: 1A to 1B. Hey, it's a start!
7. D. has gotten wider, kinda chunky. But she still loves to play the piano. She has a recital on Nov. 11.
8. M-Sr. is being treated for popping, breaking, rupturing (whatever word you can add here) his achilles tendon.
9. Finally rec'd my membership card from the church. Now when I put money in the envelope to tithe, I can use the number instead of my name. I'm happy about that.

Also, I have not forgotten to get you those files. I think about it every day (after I leave work).
Managing, managing, managing.

See, maybe I should keep this up.

October 24, 2006

When Do We Begin Womanhood?

Remeber the Nehi sodas Orange, Grape, and Peach? They were so good! Wikipedia says that they became Royal Crown, and "[this soda] is now a brand of Cadbury Schweppes Americas Beverages." They've branded many items including, Motts Apple juice, Dentyne, and the Snapple beverages. That's something I didn't know.

When Dexatrim was the hot market item back in the late 70s and early 80s, I tried it. My father had some lying around. I had decided, at the time, that I was fat. I remember the directions stating to take one or two pills, and then drink a full glass of water. I couldn't have been more than 10 or 12. I was in the 6th grade.

I attended school with many girls, who were fully-developed or developing. Some of them were menstruating. This became a disaster for one girl, who was going through it. She was fully-developed. I mean she must have been a "C" cup, and she was very shapely. No butt though. Boys constantly followed her around. Anyhow, we were in gym class, changing clothes; when she had an accident. There were stains in her underware.

Some of the girls who were loud and loved attention walked over to her. They started pointing and laughing. They shouted, "Look, look. C. has red stains in her underware!" Because C's skin was fair, her cheeks turned red. Everybody ran over to see what was wrong. I thought someone had been hurt, or that there was a fight. This happened frequently where I went to school. After I saw what was going on, I felt really bad. What if that had been me? What if I had started my period? What would I do? I didn't know anything about that. Not at that time. My older sisters and my mom had sent me to the store to purchase products for this, but no one ever explained how to use them. C. shouted back, and it still resounds when I think about it, "What are ya'll lookin' at?! Yea, I got my period! I'm a woman now! What are you? Leave me alone an' go an' git dressed!" I knew that she was embarrassed. I could feel it. I felt embarrassed for her. The other girls talked about it for days. I know that I never looked at her the same way again. To me she was in a different circle.

She was no longer the innocent, shy 6th grader, but she was to me, a person to whom I could no longer relate. She knew more than I did about my body. She had experienced something that I was awaiting. She was a woman. I was still a child. No boobs, no but, no shape; I was out. But at the same time, I was relieved because I didn't have to deal with that..."the period". I had seen what it would do to my mom and sisters. I didn't want any part of it. And this. This happened at the beginning of 6th grade. This happened when I had a crush on S. It happened just before the school teachers and administrators assembled us to show us (the 6th grade class), a film that was supposed to inform us that we (girls) would begin to like boys; that boys would begin to like us (girls); that our bodies would be changing; that our harmones would be in flux; that girls had mensturation; that our world as we had known it would become very different.

Had I known what I know now, about the innocence, about the release of innocence, about becoming a woman, I probably wouldn't have taken that Dexatrim tablet. That was one of the worst days I had ever experienced. I felt high, nauseated, weak, and unsettled. My head was spinning. I couldn't drink enough water. I sweated profusely. I wanted to tell my father what I had done, but couldn't for fear of being beaten. I believe to this day, that my taking that tablet back then helped me in deciding not to do drugs, not to abuse drinking, not to smoke. That tablet helped make me the woman I am.

We live by and based on our choices and the decisions we make, not by the number of harmones our body will or will not produce during puberty. And not because we soil our panties, when our period arrives. There are probably other instances of my making poor, good or even great choices and decisions, but by nature, we are expected to have a monthly craving for chocolate, to be extremely angry at the world, to feel tired and insignificant. And eventually, it ceases to exists. And then we wait on our ovaries to die. But our choices and decisions last a life time. Some we regret; and others, we overjoy us. Our choices and decisions make us women because they determine our course of action.

October 21, 2006

I've Neither Paused Nor Stopped...Just Need to Start

Tonight, I just needed to write. I think about writing to the blog all the time, and never set aside time to do it. I've been thinking extensively about things going on in my life. How I've been too busy to pay attention to the little things, and how I've been too busy to catch up with things that are passing me by.

Had I been complimented by the one person who I once admired, and still hold admiration for, I don't know where I'd be right now. I'm at a distance with that side of my life, yet I'm so close. On the front all is well, but people around me are getting older, time has not paused or stopped just so that I can touch and feel that which is untouchable. Each day I walk out the door, I do notice the leaves changing colors on the trees. I notice my children getting older. And I notice my own body changing. Everyday is a struggle to be steadfast and hold on to those things that I treasure.

In this space, I want to be who I am, but I'm so unsure of what I need to say when I sit and type. I want to say things, but I get bogged down. I want to write my history, but I'm not sure where to start. I have so much to say, yet I can't say it. Starting here is a good beginning, I know. I just need to start. I just need to start.